Wales v France: The Beauty & Cruelty of Sport

I once read an interview with a sports reporter who said that when trying to come up with an opening for a piece he would ask himself "what would be the first thing I'd say to a mate in the pub who hadn't seen the game?", then start with that. That sounds like a sound method so I'll try it now in talking about the Wales v France game:

Bollocks.

It's a doosey of a game to try and write about, it ran the gamut of what makes sport so gloriously, irrationally brilliant, and how it can be so coldly cruel. I was going to debate the issue of the red card, but I've changed my mind, every Welsh fan has the rest of their rugby-watching lives to do that. People say it ruined the game, but I want to talk about what made the game great.

My favourite sportswriter, Simon Barnes, wrote that sport can be great in three main ways. There's the visceral, tribal excitement of watching 'your' team beat 'your rivals' team, derby games where the match is a proxy for years, decades, even centuries of conflict and enmity; Liverpool v Manchester United, Red Sox v The Yankees, India v Pakistan in cricket, and everything else. Sport can also be great when it surprises us with performances that transcend all our expectations; Usain Bolt's 9:58sec 100m, Senna's first lap at Donnington in '93, Don Bradman's carreer test batting average of 99.94, things which make us question what is possible. Finally, sport can also be great just for pure drama, giving us stories worthy of any page, stage or screen. This is what we saw on Saturday.

Going into the game Wales were favourites, not overwhelmingly though; their inexperience could undo them, France are always unpredictable customers and this is a world cup semi-final, knockout rugby, a small, anomalous moment can change everything.

The anticipation for every Welsh fan was palpable; if we just keep on playing as we have done, we'll have them beat and be in the final, our first ever final. Crazy stuff! They were 80/1 to win before the tournament! Their warm-ups hadn't lit the world up and there were a lot of questions about some of the younger, untested players. But nevertheless they found themselves on the brink of making history at Eden Park.

You sometimes hear people refer to games in sport as "fairytales" or "Hollywood stories". In fairytales and Hollywood a story starts with a setup, or equilibrium, as it's sometimes called. This is where the audience is presented with the 'natural' state of the world we are watching; there's a beautiful princess living contently in a kingdom and is in love with a handsome prince, Sam is running a small 'cafe' in Casablanca, trying to avoid the war that's raging, Arnold Schwarzenegger is the leader of a special ops unit who need to go into the jungle to take out some terrorists. In the context of Saturday's game; Wales are the in form team, favourites to beat the opposition (the French, so often the villains in Hollywood films) and reach the final of the World Cup. The game starts, James Hook kicks the first points and Wales take the lead, it was all going according to plan.

The drama then comes when the equilibrium that we're presented with is upset for some reason, this is usually referred to as the conflict, an unanticipated challenge for our protagonists which will force them to go through major changes. The princess is kidnapped by a troll so the prince must fight to save her, Sam's old flame and her Nazi-fighting lover turn up at the cafe looking for assistance forcing him to question his values, Arnie's actually fighting something unknown and much more dangerous than terrorists, forcing him to change the mission. For Wales this major conflict came when they lost their inspirational captain and one of their stand-out, irreplaceable players; Sam Warburton.


Now the team must dig deeper than they ever thought they would be asked too. They must change their plan for the game and their style of play. They all have to give more to make up for the missing man. Do they have the energy? Do they have the fortitude? Do they have the hearts and minds to fight back and win? These are the questions asked of them as they are pushed further and tested harder than ever before.

In stories this is where the protagonists learn about themselves as they adapt and grow and change. As a result of this conflict and the change in the characters we get a resolution to the story. In fairytales and Hollywood this is usually happy; The princess is saved by the brave prince and they live happily ever after, Sam realises he's still human and helps his old lover and her new lover to escape, doing his bit to fight the Nazi's, Arnie learns about his enemy, defeats him and escapes the jungle.


In our resolution Wales are trailing by a point after a valiant effort with 14-men, but manage to win a penalty with minutes left in the game. Halfpenny, the young full-back, steps up to take it. He stares at the posts, they're 50 metres away, a huge kick, but one that will win them the game and take them to the World Cup final. He lines the ball up and takes a few steps back. He stares at the ball and the posts, his mouth is dry, the sounds of the stadium recede, they're replaced by the rhythmic pounding of his nervous heart. He thinks back to his time as a young boy with his grandfather, practicing kicks on a valley's pitch on a cold day. The tension, the nerves, the enormity of the task disappear. All that's left is the simple purpose and the simple motions that he's practiced thousands of times. This is his calling. He approaches the ball, his foot swings through in a slow-motion arc and connects sweetly with the ball. As it flies through the air camera flashes explode like a thousand shooting stars and the breath of every person watching is held. The oval ball tumbles through the night air, end over end, carrying with it the hopes of a nation. Closer and closer it gets, closer and closer the final starts to feel, then it...

...falls short.

The ball doesn't reach over the cross bar, the young man doesn't fulfil his destiny, the team don't reach their final, the country doesn't celebrate. The game goes on, the points don't come, the final whistle goes, it's all over. Fade to black.

That's the story, that's the drama; setup, conflict, resolution. This time the resolution was not a happy Hollywood ending for Wales. It feels like a sad, empty, unjust, gutting ending to what had been an incredible and romantic journey.

But there are stories within stories; beginnings, middles and ends, within beginnings, middles and ends. The story of 'the tackle', within the story of 'the red-card', within the story of the 'the game', within the story of 'the tournament', within the story of 'Welsh rugby'. It keeps on going, all stories within a larger narrative. Wales will go on from here, carrying with them the changes they went through during the game and the tournament, and move on to the next story. First up is a 3rd place play-off against Australia, which I'll bet will provide a better spectacle than the final, then, of course, a six-nations next year where there will be new stories.

Well I've looked at the six nations schedule for next year, so how about this for one. The men from Wales, still with that hurt which burns like acid in their guts, go to the six-nations with one hell of a point to prove.

They start with a replay of the World Cup quarter final, a game against Ireland. There are flashbacks to 5 months ago in New Zealand, thoughts of a World Cup, the outcome of which shook them to their cores. After a nervy first half they manage to bury the memory of that tournament and come out to seal a vital and tough away victory to those ruddy, gnarly Irishmen, which they then follow up with a bruising encounter with the Scots. Next up, England, away. If they win this then they will be 3 for 3 and on course for a Grand Slam. It's a pulsating encounter as a reshaped and revived England team match them in so many areas, but Wales, trailing by 4 points with minutes to go, are taken over the try line by their ferocious captain, Warburton. Jubilation. They go on next to face Italy at home, which leaves one game. France.

Les Blues travel to the Millennium stadium on March 17th, almost 5 months to the day when they inflicted a cruel defeat on a young Welsh side. The afternoon is bitterly cold, but the stadium is fiery with passion and purpose. Shorn of their nutty Terry Thomas lookalike coach, Lievremont, an ambitious French side, also with 4 wins from 4 and playing for the Grand Slam, turn up. The game is fierce and close, as the rugby flows between crunching tackles and fearsome defence, it's the game we were all denied in the World Cup semi-final. There's minutes left on the clock, Wales trail by one point, they get a penalty in front of the posts 50 metres out, the Grand Slam is within touching distance. Leigh Halfpenny steps up. The kick is lined up, he is ready, the stadium simmers into silence, we're all back in Eden Park. The young man approaches the ball, his foot connects. The oval ball tumbles through the air, end over end, heading towards the posts, carrying with it the hopes of a nation. Closer and closer it gets, closer and closer the grand slam feels, then it...

The agony and the ecstasy of sport. Let's start the next story.

Autumn Internationals - Half-Time

NOTE: This was written before the game against Fiji on Friday.

So we’re half was through the autumn test series with Wales 2-0 down following losses to Australia and South Africa.

I've been fortunate enough to attend both games so far, although with the WRU’s new ticket pricing structure I had to sell my collection of Max Boyce albums and ma and pa’s caravan in Tenby to pay for one. My reward for this sacrifice was a half-decent seat in the top tier, a perfect vantage point from which to see the many sparsely populated sections of the stadium.

Chernobyl - Still more populated than the south stand for the Australia game

There’s been plenty of sage views on why the ticket uptake has been so poor. Whatever the details are, the general reason is money. Cold hard dirty cash. If tickets are £50+, by the time you’ve added on traveling, a bit of food, booze, it’s easily a £100+ day, and that’s assuming you’re not taking the family along! The monthly budget is being squeezed, and to some people, watching Adam Jones galloping along with his sweaty curly locks flowing majestically behind him, is not as important as eating.
 

This or food. That's your choice.

The decision to put ticket prices up at this time, for people to watch Wales play teams they are, if we’re honest, likely to lose to, displays an incredible lack of understanding on the part of the WRU of the fans they’re selling to.
 

Typical Welsh rugby fan according to the WRU

But that’s the small business side of things, what about the big business side, what about the rugby?

1st Test - Australia (16 - 25)

The first test was decided by Australia's backs, who were simply too good for Wales. There was some admirable defending from some of the Welsh backs, but when they had the ball they never seemed to really test the Aussies. The one truly bright point for Wales was the performance in the scrum, where they obliterated an admittedly weak Australian pack, but sadly they lacked the same sort of dominance in the line-out, Wales’ perennial Achilles heel. The score was not an embarrassment (as some recent ones have been), and with a few breaks it would have been closer, but to say that Wales deserved a win would be pure one-eyed fan delusion, Australia were the better team and deserved the victory.

2nd Test - South Africa (25 - 29)

Lordi dordi, where to start? Well the beginning is usually best. The atmosphere was an improvement on last week largely thanks to the roof being closed, and I couldn't hear myself singing during the anthems, which is a bonus. But following a rousing rendition of the anthems, Wales started the game by quickly conceding 3-points to the Boks. At this I sank down in my seat a little and thought to myself ‘here we go again, another romp home for South Africa’. But then, as if guided by the spirit of Gareth Edwards himself (he’s capable of astral projection), Wales took control of the game, repeatedly puncturing the flimsy SA defense and going on to cross the try line twice. Would you believe it, they finished the half 17-9 up! 
 

What a tremendously riveting first half. I am greatly anticipating the second half.

At half-time I dared to dream... 

I was in the unfinished stadium 11 years ago when Wales recorded their first and only victory against South Africa, was I about to witness another one of those oh so rare occurrences? In another 40 minutes would we be dancing and signing in the bars around Westgate Street and St. Mary’s Street, united by a triumphant joy borne from an inspired victory over those hard men, the current world champions, South Africa? Would we drink late into the night, recounting and reliving the tries that had been scored, talking of George North’s incredible debut and whatever drama and excitement would come in the second half, bringing ecstasy to our hearts starved of victory and volume to our voices withered by defeat?

Would we fuck.

South Africa came out with that hard nosed winning mentality back in place and smashed Wales off the park, achieving a quite remarkable come back. Those Welsh fans who are desperate, and or in denial, will point to questionable refereeing decisions, lacking a bit of luck or the need to just have a couple more kicks go over as reasons for the loss. But really, deep down, Wales lost it mentally.  It was as if being rather comfortably ahead and outplaying one of their bogey teams was too incredible to be true, the discipline started to slip, crazy passes started to be chucked about and little penalties began to crop up. 
 

"GWWWARRRGGH" - Translation; I'm rather keen to win this game

This is not to denigrate South Africa’s comeback, it was truly remarkable, but I can’t help but feel that the game was Wales to lose, and they threw it away. It’s as if they don’t believe they’re allowed to beat the Southern Hemisphere sides convincingly, if at all. In contrast England lack this psychological enfeeblement, they don't see themselves as a second rate side, which they have been for the last few years. As a result they stuffed Australia, weren’t too far behind against New Zealand, and if they finish the first half 17-9 up against South Africa next weekend, I’ll bet all the Brains beer in Wales they wont go on to lose the game.

Okay I take that back, I bet all the Worthington in Wales. We don’t want it anyway, it’s shit beer.

So where do we go from here? A shaky (but hopefully entertaining) win over Fiji, then a convincing win by New Zealand is most likely. Especially if the latter play like they did against Scotland. Mercy!

Autumn Internationals 2010

"Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."

-Rocky Elsom, Lock, November 2009

Along with the dark nights and recurring inane statements about the cold weather come the Autumn Internationals. A chance for the Titans of the Southern Hemisphere to have a sightseeing trip to Buckingham Palace, Edinburgh Castle, The Guiness Brewery and, um… The Bay?

The Cardiffian equivalent of Vallhallah.

Oh yeah, they also get a few opportunities to add to the ‘win’ column of their country’s ‘win/loss/draw’ record.

Playing the Autumn International series, where Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Argentina and one or two Pacific Island teams play some of the European sides, often seems like an act of masochism for Wales as the big 3 romp home with 10, 20, 30 point margin wins.

But as Warren G is want to point out; you only get better by playing better sides. Plus, it’s a huge money spinner for the WRU!

“New Zealand beat us 3-54” “So what? I can afford a flatdownthebay!”

So with Wales having a few key players out injured (Roberts, Ryan Jones, Byrne, Halfpenny, Gareth Cooper) what does the next month have in store for Wales? 

First up on November 5th, Australia

Miss Australia - Her turn on’s are cultural bankruptcy and taking sport too seriously.

The men from down under visit Cardiff coming off the back of a win against world No.1’s New Zealand. They’re a relatively young side, but one which is starting to come together as a coherent unit with a few exceptional players amongst their ranks. They are however perceived to be weak in the scrum. We ran them close a few years ago, but they hammered us last year. What does that tell you? Nothing. A win is unlikely, but a close game with a good performance would be a good result. Prediction – Wales loss by 15 points

The bullshit trophy they’re playing for – James Bevan Trophy, inaugurated 2007

Next up on November 13th, South Africa

Miss South Africa - Probably cheated her way to victory. I REMEMBER THE SECOND LIONS TEST IN PRETORIA!

They’ve experienced quite the decline since winning the world cup in 2007 and are very much stuck in 3^rd place amongst the Southern Hemisphere sides. If Wales are to taint any one of the big three’s trip across the Severn Bridge, it’ll most likely be the Springboks. But most likely they won’t. Another team, like Wales, with a few players out injured, they’ll probably still cheat enough to win. Prediction – Wales loss by 5 points.

Bullshit Trophy – Prince William Cup, inaugurated 2007

3rd game on November 19th, Fiji

Miss Fiji - Fiji’s highest elevation is 1,324m. Its main export is sugar.

 

Fiji are a selection of players that New Zealand didn’t poach when they were in their teens. The Welsh players better have their neck-insurance up to date for this one. Expect poor defending due to Wales’ complacency and Fiji’s unyielding desire to attack, some egregiously high tackles and some dazzling flair and skill from the Fijians. You can also expect to get much drunker than you planned because this is a Friday night game, which means drinking straight after work on an empty stomach. Silly boy! Prediction - Wales win by 5.

Bullshit Trophy – Matalan-John Menzies Trophy, inaugurated 2010

 

Finally, on November 27th, New Zealand

Miss New Zealand - Cheap shot.

Those atomic powered mechanical men from the world's end, aka The All Blacks. They usually give us a thorough pasting for having the nerve to not immediately touch our noses to the ground following their not-at-all-pompous opening song and dance number. Except for last year! There was only 7-points in it! And we were drawing with them at half-time! Oh, but then they annihilated us when we visited them in the summer. Terribly inhospitable of them. Prediction – Wales loss by 25 points.

Bullshit Trophy – None! How about the Ovis Aries Plate? Something common to both nations.

So yeah, not particularly optimistic for Wales' chances this Autumn, with some key players out injured and the lack of strength in depth to cover those positions well. This does however provide an opportunity to give some of the younger players valuable experience of playing international test rugby against the best in the world, which, in theory, should strengthen the overall squad for the six-nations and the world cup next year.

Now, I’m going to put my neck on the line here with this statement, but, barring some catastrophic moment of madness like getting Gavin Henson to put his Strictly Come Dancing skills to use in offering a reply to the Haka (actually that would be fucking brilliant to watch!) Warren G and the regulators (Edwards, Howley and McBryde) should continue to coach Wales, even if they get hammered in every game. There, I said it.